Dear Annie: Several years ago my wife had a stroke. As part of her recovery, her doctor recommended a video game to help improve her hand-eye coordination. At first it seemed like a great idea; it gave her a sense of satisfaction and aided in her healing. But over time, this once useful activity has turned into a serious phone addiction.
She now spends almost eight hours a day on her phone, playing games and scrolling endlessly. She eats her meals with the phone right in front of her and barely notices me or anything else around her. I try to engage her in conversation, but it’s like I don’t exist. She no longer contributes to household chores, cooking or activities. Most days she just sits in the kitchen watching TV with her phone in hand, completely immersed in her games.
What’s even harder to deal with is that she uses her phone to text family members, expressing how unhappy she is and implying that I am somehow to blame. Now her family members are rebelling against me because they believe her portrayal of our situation without knowing the whole story.
I’m at my wits end. I want to support her recovery, but her phone has taken over our lives and I feel like I’m losing my partner to a screen. I’m really considering turning her phone off as a last resort. What should I do? – At my wit’s end
Dear Wits’ End: First of all, I am very sorry that your wife suffered a stroke. It must have been incredibly scary and challenging for both of you. Now that she is in the healing process, it appears that she has become addicted to a video game on her screen. She is not alone in this; Video game designers are known to often deliberately make these games addictive to keep people playing.
Try to channel your understandable anger and frustration into a constructive solution to help your wife break this habit. Have an open conversation with her. She may not even be fully aware of how much time she spends on the game. Limit the time she spends gaming and call her doctor to ask for more healthy activities to reduce stress and help her recover from her stroke.
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