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During arguments, there are certain phrases that confident people know how to use to politely defend their position. These phrases can serve a variety of purposes, all of which build stronger connections and help resolve conflict appropriately and effectively.
Mastering the art of appearing confident even when you’re not can help people better maintain their boundaries, advocate for their well-being, and communicate more clearly. And according to a study from the Journal of Sports Sciencesocial support generally improves when people are perceived as confident, leading to an overall happier life.
Here are 11 phrases that confident people use to politely defend their position
1. ‘I appreciate your input’
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According to the Mayo ClinicUsing assertive language instead of passive-aggressive statements generally helps people communicate better, relieving their stress and anxiety during high-pressure conversations and conflict. By using assertive communication styles while leading with compassion, individuals can ensure they politely stick to their guns without directly offending others or provoking tense discussions.
Two things can be true at once: standing up for yourself while respecting someone else’s desire to be heard. Making sure someone feels heard and understood during a conversation will make them more receptive to your requests, even if they feel uncomfortable or conflict with their own beliefs.
2. ‘No’
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Setting boundaries for your mental health is essential trauma recovery coach Monica Borschel explains, because they help regulate your emotional boundaries and guide relationships to a healthier foundation. Using and feeling comfortable saying “No,” even when it is difficult, is the foundation for setting clear boundaries. You can lead your conversations with compassion and empathy, even if you choose to set these boundaries.
You don’t always have to explain yourself, even though you may feel pressured. The healthiest people in your life, those who genuinely care about your well-being, will be receptive to your wishes.
3. “I see where you’re coming from and I don’t agree with it”
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Using a phrase like this not only acknowledges someone else’s opinion, helping them feel heard in conversations, it also helps you stand your ground without sounding too confrontational or emotional.
By acknowledging their opinion and adding that you disagree, you open the door to a more productive conversation without heated arguments or emotional triggers.
4. ‘I don’t like being spoken to like that’
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Reminding people of your boundaries, including the kind of respect and value you expect in conversations, standing your ground can be incredibly impactful. Not only does it reassure others of your competence, confidence and emotional intelligence, it also sets the stage for healthy, productive conversations, even when fueled by arguments, stress or conflict.
5. ‘Thank you for your offer, but I have to decline it’
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Whether you’re turning down an opportunity at work or declining a friend’s request to go out, using a phrase like this can be a versatile approach to channeling empathy and assertiveness. You appreciate their input, thank them for their kindness and kind offer, while also advocating for yourself with a firm refusal.
Especially in professional environments, experts from Upwork Explain that declining an offer with grace can leave the door open for future opportunities and healthy relationships that align with your goals, mindset, and values.
6. “Can we look at this again?”
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According to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletinusing time for emotional regulation, creativity, and relaxation can be incredibly helpful for relationship health. Especially in a high-pressure situation or during an argument, it is a confident way to assert your need for time for yourself. Take a moment to express your emotions and let everyone cool down.
Expressing gratitude toward the person you’re speaking to and then using a phrase like this will make everyone feel more comfortable returning to the conversation from a more emotionally balanced and informed perspective.
7. ‘I’d like to hear your opinion, but please let me finish first’
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Dealing with people’s interruptions can be frustrating, but attempts to catch up on conversations aren’t always inherently malicious. According to neurodivergent therapist Claire EgglestonImpulsiveness – a common symptom of ADHD – makes it very difficult for people to juggle multiple thoughts at once, causing them to interrupt conversations.
By acknowledging someone else’s thoughts and conveying a sense of confidence in a conversation you’re actively listening to, while also advocating for your own space, you can help everyone feel comfortable and respected in a simple conversation.
8. “Let’s find common ground we’re both happy with.”
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Especially in professional environments, focusing on the outcomes of a conversation, rather than specific solutions, can be incredibly impactful in finding common ground with your colleagues. According to leadership expert Kevin EikenberryEmotions can make high-pressure conversations difficult to resolve, especially if lingering resentment and uncomfortable emotions like shame bubble to the surface.
By finding ways to acknowledge emotional reactions, move past them and focus on tangible common ground, you can ensure everyone feels heard, respected and valued in conversations – whether you’re talking to a manager at work or with your partner at home.
9. “I don’t have the bandwidth for this right now”
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Setting and enforcing clear boundaries at work can be helpful shaping a healthy balance between work and private lifeespecially if you work under a leadership team that is constantly adding projects and responsibilities to your workload.
A sentence like this can politely avoid becoming overworked and remind people that you can manage tasks and set clear boundaries without being demanding or overbearing. In personal conversations, it is important to remind people of your humanity. You can’t be responsible for everything, take on a million different roles and still be a functional person.
10. ‘I am convinced that…’
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Often the best way to be perceived as confident – by yourself and others – is to simply say that you are. Without using dismissive language or phrases like “I think,” you ensure that people recognize your credibility and don’t feel comfortable constantly pushing against your boundaries.
According to clinical psychologist Sopagna Eap-Brajeyou don’t necessarily need to feel confident to be seen as confident, making it easier to reassert your boundaries with other people even if you feel a little insecure. Finding confident verbal tactics and body language tricks to use can help you learn confidence before you feel comfortable with it.
11. ‘It’s important to me to advocate for myself, so I’m going to say no’
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According to experts from the University of Minnesota’s Center for Interprofessional HealthIt’s not always easy or comfortable to stand up for yourself, but it does help promote clear boundaries that protect your long-term emotional and physical well-being. Especially in a professional environment, effectively navigating conversations and acting as an advocate can be the difference between a healthy work-life balance and a reality fraught with the consequences of burnout and resentment.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations and policy and gender studies, focusing on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
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