By admin 
Dear Abby: I’m a 37 year old woman who seems to be the person in my family to figure things out. Because my stepmother was not comfortable enough with her English and because I strove to gain her approval, I made sure from an early age that I took care of the things she could not do. The problem is that I used to be proud of myself for always being able to figure things out, but I don’t feel that way anymore.
There are five siblings in total. We are all adults now, but it seems like my stepmother only comes to me to solve her problems. When someone offers her help, she says something like, “That’s fine, but I’ll just ask your sister.” I understand that this may be my fault because of my incessant need to please her.
Lately, though, I’ve been increasingly bothered by the feeling of being used, as if my worth depends solely on what I can do for her. Is there a way to change her expectations without having to outright tell her how I feel? – Too helpful in California
Dear, too helpful: You may find it easier to start by being less available if your stepmother has a “cutie.” She may be shocked and not like it, so be prepared if you tell her to ask one of your siblings. The alternative is to be completely honest with her about your feelings, including the fact that you feel like she only appreciates you because of what she thinks you can do for her.
Being the only “adult” in the family is a terrible burden placed on a child, and that seems to have happened to you too. I knew someone like that. Like you, he was the designated problem solver in the family. Unfortunately, no one was grateful for his efforts. Instead, they not only took advantage of him, but hated him for it.
Put an end to this scenario before you start to seriously resent your “helpless” stepmother.
Dear Abby: I am a hiker and I would like to know: is there a rule regarding passing an oncoming hiker? I tend to stay on my right side as if I were driving a car, but the occasional walker seems to insist on staying on his left side.
Also, a plea to your readers: Sidewalks are for pedestrians, so please do not park your vehicles, lawn mowers, lawn equipment, maintenance/repair equipment, etc. on them. While it is easy for me to maneuver around it, it is not easy for small children on bicycles or for people using wheelchairs or pushing strollers. – Hiking in Florida
Best hike: The etiquette for pedestrians is the same as that for motorists in all 50 states: stay on the right side of the “road.” People who ride scooters and bicycles on the sidewalk are also a danger to pedestrians. In many communities, there may be ordinances to discourage parking devices on sidewalks. If the arrangement is semi-permanent, please visit your town hall website to determine which department the violation(s) should be reported to.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was created by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.