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Envy is a complicated, chaotic, and overwhelming emotion that is as difficult to conceptualize in the person experiencing the emotion as in the person it is directed at.
Envy also hardly manifests itself in the same way in different people, because it is motivated by a variety of problems, struggles, insecurities and pain points. According to Mariah Perry’s book ‘Green Eyes’ In a study of jealous personality types, there are almost forty ways that jealousy can manifest itself in individuals.
Spiritual influencer Angel Laborcé on TikTok I’ve listed the different jealous personality types from Perry’s book so you can recognize and avoid them in your own life.
Here are the 6 ‘jealous’ personality types you should avoid at all costs:
1. The reputation ruin
Laborcé considered this personality type “the most common” among jealous women. The ‘reputation ruiner’ puts other people down to make themselves look better. “tarnish their public image” by spreading lies, belittling their achievements and making them feel inferior with negative comments.
“The best thing you can do is show others and your abuser that their opinions, gossip, disapproval and slander do not confuse you,” Laborcé read from Perry’s book. “It’s also best to weigh things up. If you believe that the truth will always come to light, the perpetrator’s actions will be exposed in due time.”
2. The snake
“This is the person who is ambiguous,” Laborcé read. “They will put in a bad word for you… Even if they seem nice on the outside, there will be something treacherous going on inside.”
A 2017 research article published in the journal for the Association for Personality and Social Psychology argued that because envy is motivated by a desire for superiority, “snake” personalities are often fueled by unconscious and insidious tactics to climb the social hierarchy – even if it means playing the long game.
The article noted: “Any direct aggression can undermine the jealous person’s chances of rising in the hierarchy. Therefore, tactics that are subtle and indirect are more beneficial.”
3. The provocateur
The ‘provoker’ personality type thrives on the inferiority of their target, especially when they can cause that discomfort. “They want to provoke negative reactions from their target,” Laborcé noted. “They thrive when their prey appears disheveled, angry, sad, distressed or depressed.”
In a 2012 study of college roommatesresearchers discovered this in the same way happiness is contagiousthis also applies to depression. What they also discovered was that negativity spreads, and therefore giving an instigator any kind of power can be incredibly dangerous.
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Just as gossip spreads, negative perceptions can also spread. A provoker can not only make you feel worse about yourself, but can also make others believe that you are inferior.
4. The leech
You’ve probably heard the term “emotional leech” before, especially if you have before had a toxic boyfriend or an exceptionally jealous relative. This “leech” personality type has difficulty allowing other people in their lives to flourish without taking away some of their success.
If you get a promotion at work, they want to know what you’re going to buy for them. After you move into a new place with a spare room, they are the first people to come and stay – arguing that ‘you have the space’, so don’t be selfish.
They drain every last drop of excitement and attention from you until your self-esteem and self-confidence are completely depleted.
5. The evil mentor
The “malicious mentor” is a person in leadership who controls people to ensure they do not succeed unless they are involved in some way. “They need you to always need them,” Laborcé said. If you branch out, make new connections, or find opportunities that don’t involve them, they will do everything they can to hinder them.
The malicious mentor is usually in a position of power, so he knows exactly how to block your success unless it benefits him directly.
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“What makes this person dangerous is that they generally do not hate the target,” Perry wrote in her book. “Their insecurities or abandonment issues keep them from helping those they should help reach their highest potential.”
The more can be codependent in the relationshipthe better. It gives them the control to truly ‘make or break’ the people around them.
6. The hall monitor
“Their goal is to get close to their objects of envy and monitor their demise,” Laborcé noted. “A hall monitor will only touch objects of envy to assess damage… If they see their target flourishing, they will stick around long enough to sabotage.”
Often people with “room monitor” friends and family need “no contact” to find peace and healing – whether that means blocking them on social media, not texting them back, or finding ways to manage their presence at work, school, or in public areas to avoid.
Normal conflict resolution tactics are often ineffective when it comes to jealous personality types. Yet, through awareness and by setting boundariesyou can better protect yourself if you encounter them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango, focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories