By admin 
In an adorable announcement from Edinburgh Zoo, the world has been blessed with a new baby pygmy hippo to obsess over: Haggis the hippo. The little guy is so cute that you almost forget the overwhelming sense of panic the world is feeling right now. What do you mean? There is completely nothing else on my mind right now. LA LA LA LA LA.
“Moo Deng? Who Deng? Edinburgh Zoo wrote in a cheeky post to the end of the world.
Anyway, let’s take a look at the hippo. I need some endorphins.
Moo Deng? Who deng? Introducing: Haggis
Otto and Gloria welcomed an ADORABLE pygmy hippo! She is doing well, but we will keep the hippo house closed for the time being so that our expert caregivers can keep a close eye on mom and baby during this sensitive time pic.twitter.com/ceGtARuzyR
— Edinburgh Zoo (@EdinburghZoo) November 4, 2024
Wow, wasn’t that a cute little thing to put on your feed! I definitely needed that!
For a second I almost didn’t think about how tomorrow millions of American citizens would be on one convicted criminal.
While the world continues to be obsessed with the moist goddess Moo Deng, it sure is great to have a new pygmy hippo to idolize which didn’t remind me of the American elections.
AHHH LORD HELP IT’S TOMORROW WE ARE SO DAMNED.
Sorry. Where was I? Oh yes, Haggis.
Hoofstock team leader at Edinburgh Zoo Jonny Appleyard has said the young calf is “doing very well so far,” which should be good. I’m not going to sleep a wink tonight.
LA LA LA LA LA, I DON’T THINK ABOUT IT. (Source: Edinburgh Zoo)
“The first thirty days are crucial for her development, so the pygmy hippo house will be closed for the time being so that we can keep a close eye on mother and baby during this sensitive time,” the spokesperson said. Donny. I mean Jonny. End me now.
The zoo’s breeding system has been praised for successfully breeding adult pygmy hippos Otta and Gloria, as the species is known to be critically endangered.
Very much modern democracy.
I mean, uh, the thing I should be thinking about.
Cute animals… Yes. Find more cute animals.
Oops daisy. When I was trying to find more photos of Haggis, I accidentally opened Twitter and saw this:
The first in-person votes for the election have come in from the small New Hampshire town of Dixville Notch, where there are six registered voters.
Kamala Harris and Donald Trump are tied with 3 votes each. pic.twitter.com/RlcQ943hUx
— Popbasis (@PopBase) November 5, 2024
It’s a tie in the town of Dixville Notch.
We are so doomed. He is I’m going to say it was stolen again. It’s all over.
I can’t do this for another four years. Please America, have mercy.
I hardly sleep. I’m losing her. My sentences are like coherent as Joe Biden‘S.
For the love of all that is good, don’t screw this up, America. I beg.
Anyway, congratulations to Glasgow Zoo for their baby giraffe or whatever.
Good luck everyone.
Main image: Edinburgh Zoo