By admin 
Remember back in February when I said 2024 was going to be my guilt-free year of joy? October was just that. It’s been packed with things I really love, but I’ve also had the confidence to politely decline things I know aren’t for me and to stop when I need to – 2023 Louise wouldn’t recognize me!
My youngest daughter, Pearl, six, seems to have followed my lead when it comes to refusing things that aren’t quite right for her either. Let me explain.
The dance mom life shifted into high gear in October, as Pearl and Darcy’s theater school performed at Disneyland Paris. That’s quite exciting for me as a mother just looking at them, so I can only imagine how exciting that would be as a child.
©InstagramIt was an important month for Darcy and Pearl
You and all your dancing friends flock to the happiest place on earth to do what you love most in the whole world… the atmosphere was high!
Months of rehearsals, hours of driving in the car to practice, tons of costumes and more hairspray than I care to think of… The show was a roaring success and three days of riding rollercoasters with all their friends created core memories that I hope Pearl and Darcy they cherish for the rest of their lives.
It may surprise you to know that it was this week, at Disney, that one of my girls quit. Bit of a plot twist!
Giving up is not easy for me. I was taught that you should never give up. If you want to be successful, try, try and try again. I will grit my teeth and stick with something until the bitter end, and as I’ve lived through 2024 with guilt-free joy at the forefront, I’ve realized that the “bitter end” isn’t where I want to be. Unless something is essential, why grit your teeth and stick it out?
“I’ve realized that the ‘bitter end’ is not where I want to be.”
Pearl is six and has been dancing since she was three. She went to theater school because Darcy was there and loved it. As Pearl has grown in character, she has found her own interests, such as science, Lego sets and tennis. She mentioned a while back that she didn’t want to dance anymore and we said we would do the things we had already committed to (like the Disney trip) but if she still didn’t want to do it after that, she could stop. And so she did.
For weeks I felt like I was failing because we “quit.” Their theater school is amazing, Darcy has done so much there and the staff are almost like family at this point. But at the moment it’s not Pearl’s thing and that’s why we carefully and consciously ‘stop’ it.
Louise’s daughter Pearl now has other interests
Quitting doesn’t have to be terrible. You don’t have to go out in a blaze of glory, burning bridges. Quitting can actually mean respecting yourself, respecting other people (the theater school has waiting lists for many classes, so I expect someone else will be so grateful for Pearl’s space), and opening yourself up to new opportunities.
I don’t want my kids to grow up chained to things they think they should do, when in reality they have the freedom to make healthy, happy choices. Of course there are things that need to be done, like going to school and brushing my teeth, but I think you know what I mean.
Perhaps teaching children how to stop respectfully is just as important as teaching them how to persevere. In fact, I wish someone had taught me this as a younger adult, because at 39 I’m really just learning it.
‘Maybe it is just as important to teach children to stop respectfully as it is to teach them to persevere?’
Is there anything in your life right now that you don’t really love and that you don’t have to do? Could you politely step away from something to make room for something else? It could be a big weekly commitment, like a club, but it could also be that you don’t really like the book you’re currently reading, or you’ve watched two series of the latest Netflix must-see, so you feel like you even have to watch the third one. even if it doesn’t grab you.
Stop. Time is precious. Joy is important. Take a leaf out of Pearl’s book and say, “I’m more into Lego sets than dancing now, and that’s okay.”
Maybe one day she’ll put on her little satin ballet slippers again (I quietly hope so) and maybe one day you’ll pick that thing up again, but for now it’s wise to stop, carefully and respectfully, all in. the name of guilt-free joy.
LOUISE’S COLUMN: Why putting my kids first and still making time for me is the ultimate juggling act
Aside from the big bomb, here’s what else we got up to in October that made it my most joyful, guilt-free month of 2024 yet…
Finding inspiration
I started the month at a Tiktok Creator Summit that really inspired me creatively. You hear so much about TikTok being just for Gen Z, but I promise you there is room for everyone and I have to say that Gen Z creators are actually extremely welcoming.
Louise became creatively inspired
If you’re passionate about something, there’s a slice of TikTok for you – as a scroller or as an uploader. I urge you to give it a try, it’s not everything you think it is, I promise.
Mother-daughter time
I took my youngest daughter Pearl to a BFI film premiere for Wild Robot and cried more than I thought I would at a children’s film – the film had such a touching message of motherly love.
My oldest daughter Darcy and I went to MusicalCon where she was completely immersed in her love of theater.
Louise and Darcy had fun together in October
Podcasting
In October I also appeared on two incredible podcasts – Save grace with GK Barry and Work hard, hardly work with Grace Beverly.
Both Graces are hard-working, successful powerhouses, so it was a pleasure and honor to spend time with them. If you haven’t listened to one of their podcasts yet, you’re missing out. Add them to your listening list and thank me later.
Time with friends
I wanted to make more time for friends this year and I accomplished that in a big way this month. I’m working with the fantastic P&O Cruises and showcasing some of their beautiful destinations or offering ideas on how to enjoy a holiday with them – I know, what a terrible job haha!
I’ve cruised with many families, but I really wanted to show how great a girls’ trip on board can be. Think cocktails, spa treatments, food (so much food!), beautiful destinations and really good quality time. My girlfriend Faye and I have been friends since she stepped out of the elevator on the first day of college in 2003, but with kids, jobs, and 150 miles between us, quality time is in short supply—I suspect we all have friendships like that. So it was a pleasure (without guilt for 2024!) to spend four days aboard Arvia catching up and putting the world to rights. I enjoyed it so much that I have already blocked out dates for 2025 and I suggest you do too, grab the cals and set up the WhatsApp groups now before Christmas mania hits.
The girls’ trip was Monday through Friday and although we had a blast, we both missed our kids a lot. I came home to mine and crushed them to pieces.
I hope you enjoyed this month’s column (and that you didn’t respectfully stop reading!). I’ll have some very exciting festive news for you next month and of course I’ll be sharing all the gossip as we head into the festive festive season, woohoo!
Until then you can find me on any social media platform, @LouisePentland and I’ll see you soon.