By admin 
After the Cowboys’ huge losses this season, fans (including this reporter) shouted profanities. They kicked things. Threw the remote control. And cried tears – perhaps of anger, but tears nonetheless.
If the Cowboys lose at home to the hated Philadelphia Eagles on November 10, those tears will not be lost.
In an innovative marketing stunt, Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey of Louisville, Kentucky says it is “collecting the tears of losing rival football fans to create a limited-edition, fan-infused whiskey that promises ultimate bragging rights next season.”
On Sunday, November 10, Fireball will have a team stationed near AT&T Stadium when play ends, “fully outfitted in red-hot gear and donning ‘Fireball Tear Collector’ uniforms for easy identification,” the brand says.
AT&T Stadium (Photo: AT&T)
Fans who donate their tears – whether out of anger, defeat, utter depression or otherwise – will contribute to the creation of the limited edition Crierball Whiskey.
“In football, there are few things – apart from Fireball of course – better than the sweet taste of victory, especially when that W comes at the expense of your biggest rivals,” Danny ZuichGlobal Brand Director for Fireball, in a statement. “Our brand is all about embracing that competitive spirit, but with a little more spice. We’re on a mission to capture the soul of rivalry (aka the losers’ tears) during the biggest games of the season. The expected result? A unique whiskey bottling that will certainly become the ultimate showpiece and will provide the highest pride next season.”
How the stunt can actually work
So how is Crierball made? The company says it all starts “with finding the most dedicated football fans and the biggest crybabies, so Fireball goes where those people are sure to be: the most anticipated professional and collegiate rivalry games of the season.”
Each tear shed and donated “will be collected and stored in sealed, sterile jars and then safely transported to a secure facility for storage and distillation,” according to Fireball. “All watery eyes are welcome.”
It’s no surprise to Cowboys fans that millions of people in the US see them as crybabies, giving this marketing stunt an extra jolt of fear. But misery loves company: Fireball will also shed tears next month during the Florida Gators vs. Georgia Bulldogs play in Athens, Georgia; the Packers-Bears game in Chicago; the Ravens-Steelers in Pittsburgh; the Auburn Tigers vs. Alabama Crimson Tide game in Tuscaloosa; and the Michigan Wolverines vs. Ohio State Buckeyes game in Columbus, Ohio.
“We expect that the tears we collect will undergo a painstaking, months-long process of sterilization and distillation before ultimately becoming Crierball,” Suich said. “Our plan is to have this salty-cinnamon innovation ready for next football season, so that the victors can keep last season’s victory above the heads of their rivals.”
That could of course be the case on November 10 Eagles fans who will do the crying after the Cowboys beat them. If so, we want to place an order for a case right now.
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